I've lost nearly six pounds since Friday- my husband deployed that night and since then I have been nauseated and haven't had an appetite. *sigh* I can't be happy about that weight loss because I know it's unhealthy to lose weight that fast, and of course I'm not eating enough- one meal a day is about all I can hold down right now.
In addition to the nausea, I'm also breaking out A LOT and I have a bunch of ulcers in my mouth. Combine that with sleeplessness, lethargy, dizziness and loneliness, and you have the full combination of what happens when I am depressed.
I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow. I am hoping they will at least give me something to help my tummy.
My poor husband is worried about me. I don't want to worry him, but I have to tell him the truth. And the truth is, I want to go home more than anything. I feel very lonely and terrified here by myself- I have one friend here. I might try to do an extended leave to the States.
Right now I have twelve days before I go home to Austin for one month. I hope it comes quickly.
Anybody have any tips for dealing with extreme stress? Or dislocation?

Two things happened today that have made me think a lot about people not doing their jobs correctly, or not paying attention, or maybe just not caring.
The first thing was, we got my husband's relocation pay. It was $137.62. Now, this concerned me quite a bit, because it was supposed to be more than $2000. So we made a trip in the middle of the workday to get this all straightened out. It turned out that whoever submitted his information, chose to submit the earliest copy of his orders to move- which were for a single soldier, living in barracks. We had to get his orders redone several times before they got everything right on them, but when in-processing, he has to show his original orders and all of the amendments. What happened was, the person chose to go by the copy that was easiest to read, NOT the latest, accurate copy. So, we have resubmitted all of his information and may see the money in as little as a month.
The second thing was that his ID was flagged this morning going in to work, because there was a problem with his vehicle registration. Well, that turned out to be my vehicle registration- we had to get my license plates changed. the reason for that turned out to be that the license plates they issued me in August were already in use- by the German police, for one of their undercover vehicles. What!? I don't know how such a mistake was made, but it happened to at least 120 people.
Now, these are big mistakes that make a great deal of trouble for soldiers and their families. They happen all the time- this is why I'm not a fan of the army, or most government run businesses. These clerks that mess up things like a soldiers' pay (example, my friend's husband didn't get paid once for three months in a row- and they had rent, utilities, and bills to pay) don't get fired, or even reprimanded.
I love private, independent businesses. I absolutely love working a job for a company or an individual that has the power to fire me. I enjoy being held accountable for my actions- I get credit when I do something great, and when I don't, I know I have no one but myself to blame. It has to do with self-respect, and respect for your job, your employer, and your customer.
Sometimes I think that people who can do a job poorly and not care are lacking some appreciation of their humanity. They hold a deep belief in their hearts that man is no greater than any animal out there. Deep-seated incompetence is much different from a learning period- a time when a person is perhaps new to a task and making mistakes- that person will do their best and take responsibility for their actions. Whereas an incompetent, self-hating drudge will eternally cry out, "It's not my fault!" and "I can't help you with that! That's not my job!".

Mrs. Baker

This post was inspired by Blue_Summer's post, "It's Time For The Soapbox".